


Postage Stamps

by Birdgirl90



Series: Andi Collection [1]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: AU, AU in canon verse, F/M, Language, OC, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-06-08 20:42:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6872620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdgirl90/pseuds/Birdgirl90
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." ~ Audrey Hepburn</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
> This is a story about one of my OCs and her mother base introduction. She's a sweetheart who I adore, and I hope you will too.   
> Everyone, please meet my girl, Andi. (:  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." ~ Audrey Hepburn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely readers!  
> Here we meet my OC, Andi, and her mother base story. She's a sweetheart and I hope you enjoy reading her as much as I do writing her!  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

_Costa Rica, 1974_

He first sees her while he’s on the beach.

The sunset is beautiful and he’s lazily strumming his guitar, a melody he’s idly letting run through his fingers. Kazuhira Miller may not be able to sing to save his life (or so they tell him, he thinks he sings just fine, thankyouverymuch) but he knows his instrument and he knows how to make her sing, not unlike the stream of women he takes to bed each night.

She’s with a small group he recognizes as the peace corps stationed not too far from where MSF is staying for the time being. The two groups have very little interaction with each other, with the “hippie flowers” as Boss calls them minding their own business and not asking questions. It doesn’t really matter though; it’s not like MSF stays in one place for long right now anyway. If only Kaz could hurry up and get a steady location…

  
The group chats away amongst themselves, with several of the guys threatening to dunk a few of the girls into the tide. She stands to the edge of the group, dipping her toe in the water curiously, jeans hugging her hips and a long halter top instead of the bikinis of the girls around her. Kaz strums a few more notes and she looks at him, dark hair and light eyes, and smiles shyly at him. He nods, flashes that grin of his, and keeps playing, waiting for the inevitable. They always come when he plays and sure enough, she’s no exception.

“That’s a beautiful guitar,” she says quietly, her voice soft as feathers.

“Not as beautiful as you,” Kaz replies with his grin, sliding his aviators just far enough for his blue eyes to look over the rim. He knows how intoxicating he looks, with almond eyes and fair hair, and he’s not disappointed when she flushes. He motions to the sand next to him.

“Have a seat, sweetheart,” he all but croons. “Your friends seem pretty preoccupied.”

She turns and looks over at the group she’s strayed from. They’re splashing and laughing, almost completely unaware she’s not with them. She looks back at him before sitting, folding her legs a little awkwardly beneath her.

"They’re not really my friends,” she mumbles. “More like people I got stuck living with for the next six months.”

  
Kaz nods and strums his guitar some more. “Peace Corps?” he asks even though he knows the answer already.

  
She nods with a small smile.

  
“Yeah,” she says. “After all the war I saw back home in the states, I wanted to do something to make a difference. So far all I’ve done is take notes and get eaten by mosquitos.”

  
She laughs lightly and leans back on her hands. There’s something different about her that Kaz just can’t put his finger on. She seems so young, so innocent from the women in camp. He pushes the thought from his mind and continues the way he always does.

  
“The name’s Kaz. It’s short for Kazuhira, which means peace in Japanese.”

She cocks her head to the side. “Maybe you should be where I am,” she teases. “You’re with that base down the way, right?”

He nods and grins again. “I happen to be second in command there; Kazuhira Miller, right hand to the Boss."

  
“That sounds pretty impressive,” the dark haired girl says, awe crossing her face for a moment. She gives a half smile. “I’m Adrienne, though it’s usually just Andi. Andi with an i.”

  
Kaz laughs. “Well, Andi with an i, what are your plans for the next few days?”

Andi shrugs. “Camp out, try not to get eaten alive, keep everyone organized, the usual.”

  
The sun dips further beneath the horizon and the dusky pieces of sky start to emerge. Kaz nods towards the group further down.

“Looks like they’re getting ready to go.”

Andi looks at them again, watches them with a small frown on her face as they pack up without her. Kaz feels a twinge in his chest at that expression - he knows all too well how it is to be forgotten. She stands and brushes the sand from her worn bellbottoms. He stops her before she has a chance to leave.

“In case your plans change,I’m usually here most nights.” He grins then sobers his expression. “The stars are truly magnificent here.”

Andi smiles at him. “See you around, Peace.”

As he watches her leave, he strums something sweet on his guitar before looking at the sky to watch the stars slowly shine.

******************************************************************

The next few days and nights pass in a blur. Boss talks about moving camp again, and Kaz has to agree, it’s for the good of the company. MSF will eventually have a place to rest, but for now it’s best they keep moving. The money from the last few missions has been particularly good, and Kaz buys himself enough beer for several days with the intent of drinking it alone on the coast before they move again.

But he isn’t alone.

Andi shows up , jeans and sandals and button down blouses, dark hair in a frizzy braid and some sort of snack basket in tow filled with what she could find around. They eat mangos and watch the stars, laughing in each other’s company. She doesn’t ask questions, just lets the waves wash over the beach and sips at the beer he’s offered her, enjoying the stars. Kaz brushes his hand across hers, and she stands up before anything more can happen.

And she shows up the next night.

  
And the night after that.

Kaz has always had a set of rules he follows. Never get attached. Don’t reveal anything, keep a distance, keep the conversation mostly on them until you can slide between their legs, then send them on their way.

But when he plays his guitar and she sings softly next to him, her voice better than his and perfect on his ears even though she denies it with a laugh, he feels his walls crumbling and his words, normally so rehearsed and routine, changing. She’s nearly 20, not sure what she wants to do with her life but certain she’ll find it somewhere. In her quiet voice she talks of books and family back in Kansas and everything else.

  
He shares his life without realizing it at first, how he started in Japan and went to America only to head back, how he ended up here. The words fall without thought, foreign on his lips, and she listens attentively; her hand finds his and squeezes for comfort when he gets to his mom. There’s something in her touch that makes him ache, something innocent in her lip balm tinted kisses, and he knows he won’t be the one to take the way she shines in the moonlight, won’t ruin the optimism in her eyes.

On their last night, she saddles up to him, leans into his side. Kaz wraps an arm around her and tugs on her hair wistfully.

“Rhee,” he whispers into her ear, the nickname he’s given her for these nights alone. “Base is moving tomorrow. I won’t be on this part of the beach again for a long time.”

  
She looks at him, and something clouds her grey eyes.  
“Will I see you again?”

  
Kaz just sighs. “I don’t know, lovely. But even if you never do, I’ll always remember you.”

  
She laughs hollowly. He kisses her cheeks, places chaste kisses on her lips. She latches onto him, pulls him into her, and it takes all the restraint he’s ever had to stop her even though he wants her more than he’s wanted anything in the world. Andi looks at him, face flushed, eyes reflecting the breaking ache in Kaz’s chest.

When she asks him to give her this, to let her have this memory, he caves, kissing down her throat and making love to her slowly to her, savoring her, locking her whimpers and cries in the back of himself to keep.  
He kisses her once on her forehead as they lay tangled together. Andi traces circles and lines on his chest, her hair wild as she looks up at him.

"Can I write you?”

He laughs.

“Yeah, you can write me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading lovelies!  
> See you at the next chapter!  
> ~Birdie


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'll write to you. A super long letter like in an old fashioned novel." ~ Haruki Murakami

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely readers!
> 
> Here we are with chapter 2. I wish the site would let me keep the original fonts, cause I had really ones picked out. Just imagine that Kaz is that guy with really elegant cursive and Andi's that girl who essentially dots her i's with hearts. :)
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> ~Birdie

~~Dear Kaz~~  
~~Hi~~  
Hey, it’s Andi with an i.

  
You told me I could write. The kid down the way (I can’t remember what he said his name was - Chico maybe?) told me he’d get this to you. I have no idea where your militia is right now, but I hope it’s doing well. Is that the right sentiment? I don’t know. I do hope you’re well though.

  
We just found out today that we’re actually changing around again too. Apparently they found another spot where they can use us better, further inland and down. There’s an establishment, something with running water and bunks where we don’t have to fight mosquitos.

They’ve got me on secretary duty. Which is fine, I guess, seeing as I’m pretty good at it. Organize who’s going where, keep track of the mail, use a lot of post its. It’s not too hard, and I kind of like it. It gives me time to read and figure out what I’m going to do when I get out of here. Even though it won’t be for a while.

 ~~I’ve put the new address of where we are in here. In case you want to write back~~  
I hope all is well.  
Andi

 

 

_Dear Rhee,_

  
_Of course I’m going to write back. Can’t leave my best girl hanging. My letters might be sporadic though; MSF is incredibly busy these days, which is good, because it keeps the capital coming in. Chico’s a good kid, though young. He and his sister, Amanda, joined our ranks not too long ago. They’ve been incredibly helpful and I’m glad we have them._

  
_I’m glad you’ve got a place to stay outside of tents; I remember all the bites you had on your legs last time I saw you. It’s probably cause you’re so sweet. I know I can’t resist sweets._   
_Paperwork is what I mostly do as well, and there are definitely perks to it. What are you reading right now? I leant my Che Guevara books to Snake Boss to look at, so I’m working my way through Stephen King’s novel “Carrie.” It’s not bad for a pulp fiction novel._

  
_MSF will hopefully have a permanent place soon as well. I can’t give details as much as I would love to, but once we have a place, I’ll give you somewhere for you to send these letters for me to safely get them._

  
_Duty calls, I’m off again._   
_Kazuhira_

 

 

Dear Kaz,

  
You’re so sweet, but I’m pretty sure the bugs like me because I’m warm blooded like everyone else.

I love all the summer rain we’ve been getting here lately. It’s so different from the rains we get back in Kansas. Out there, it’s so dry and then these huge thunderstorms roll through and pack all the dust back to the ground. Here...here it’s sticky and warm, and everytime it rains, it feels like a relaxing shower. Not the unsettled air and storms of out in Colby. I feel like I could sit outside in it all day.

  
I haven’t read “Carrie” before, is it new? I’m reading a collection of Sylvia Plath poems at the moment. I really like how she approaches the issues of women and their struggles in society. We’ve come a long way, but I look around and I know we still have a long way to go.

  
I’ve figured out what I want to do when I get out of the corps and go back home. I’m going to open a bookstore somewhere and sell antique books as well as new publications. Something quiet and nice, where I can own my own business and have my own freedom with things. Maybe that’s dumb, but...I really want it. Right now, I know I need to stay focused and work hard to get through my last few months here.

I’m glad you guys are getting settled! I know you mentioned moving around drove you crazy - stability is such an important thing, and I hope you guys get it, however that looks for a private military. I find myself hoping that you’ll keep writing me, even if I am just a naive girl from the beach. But I also know our lives are so different; I wouldn’t blame you if you stopped.

  
~~Love?~~  
Andi

 

 

 

_My sweet Rhee,_

  
_Yes, our lives are very different. But I think you’re so much more than just a “naive girl from the beach.” I hold onto your letters and keep them with me, each one stored neatly with the next. I find I miss you more and more each day. I would give almost anything to see you again. Once MSF is settled (our final place is secured and we’ve moved in at last), I’ll have some shore leave and I would like to see you again before you go back stateside._

  
_I think your plans for your future are incredible. A bookstore is perfect and I can see you, wearing a plaid skirt with your hair up, showing your customers where they can find the first edition copy of “Leaves of Grass.” And then, I’ll come in and sweep you off your feet, pin you against the wall of classic literature and kiss you until you can’t breathe. And then more… These are the thoughts that get me through the days and nights when it seems nearly impossible to keep doing what we’re doing._

  
_What do you say? Are you up for one more night at the beach?_

  
_Yours,_   
_Kaz_

 

 

 

Dear Kaz,

Yes.

Andi

 

 

 

Dear Kaz,

  
Last night was...I don’t have words. I’ve never felt more beautiful in my life, and I’ve never felt more distraught at going home. I think...I think I might love you, and it terrifies me. What if something happens to you? What if we never see each other ever again? What if the letters stop one day?

  
But then I think about last night and the beautiful words you whispered in my ear, the way your hands felt over my body, and I can’t stop myself. None of my fears or worries can change how I feel, and I take back my earlier statement. I don’t think I love you.

I know I love you.

  
Right now, I’m writing this from the plane taking me back to Kansas, and I’ve never felt so alone. I wish you were able to leave the wars you fight and come home with me, but I know you, and I know you’ll never fully be able to leave that life. And I can’t ask you to. One day when I open my store though, when MSF is where you and your boss dream it to be, please come for me.

  
Until then, my heart is yours through these letters.

  
Love,  
Rhee

 

 

 

_Sweet, sweet Rhee,_

  
_I’ve known from the start that I’ve loved you, the shy girl with her feet in the water and the laugh that went through me like a summer breeze. I wish I was in Kansas with you. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve made a mistake with all the things I’ve done and all the stories I tell myself at night._

_I am not a good man, and I know it, and I need you to know it. I’ve done everything I thought necessary to get to where I felt I needed to be._

  
_And now I’m in too deep._

  
_I wish I was there with you, walking through the sunflower fields and smelling your perfume on the wind. I think of my mother and how hard she worked, and I look at how hard I’ve worked. A bookstore with you...that is what I dream about at night now. I pray to whoever listens that you get to fulfill your dream._

  
_We have an inspection with the UN this week. Emmerich, our mechanical engineer responsible for a lot of the weaponry we work with, has arranged it and assures us that it will be for the best for everyone. I smell something fishy, and the nagging at the back of my head won’t stop. It doesn’t feel right, but I don’t know why or how to stop it._

  
_Just know, no matter what happens, I love you my Rhee. I love you more than I ever thought possible to love anyone. I love how shy you get when I kiss you, how sweet you are in your words and actions. You make my world feel right._

  
_I’ve decided that when this inspection is done, I’m going to take time away from MSF. I’m going to come find you and take you to a proper dinner and -_

  
_I love you Rhee. I love you, I love you, I love you._   
_Kaz_

 

 

 

  
Dear Kaz,

  
Please be safe. From what you’ve said, this definitely feels off. Hopefully we're wrong though. Maybe it will be okay.

  
I'm making a list of things we can do when you come visit me. We'll go to movies at the local theater and have a dinner at this fancy restaurant I've never been to before and we can look at stars again. The stars are different here, but I've been learning them so I can show you this time.

  
Please come. Please be safe. I don't know what I would do if you weren't.

  
I love you. Please be careful.  
Love,  
Your Rhee

 

 

 

 

Dear Kaz,

  
It’s been six months since your last letter. I don’t know if you’re alive or dead, and I don’t know how to reach you beyond this. I saw on the news the explosion in the ocean that the government played off, but I’m not dumb. I know better.

  
And I just pray you survived.  
I have to keep living my life, but even now, even as I go, my heart is forever yours. It will always be yours.

  
Love you forever and a day,  
Adrienne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! As always, feedback is appreciated. :)
> 
> See you at the next chapter!
> 
> ~Birdie


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "But the thing about remembering is that you don't forget." ~ Tim O'Brien

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovely readers!  
> Thanks for joining me on this journey. Here we are, back with our favorite salt block.  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

_Seychelle Waters, 1984_

“For the last time, Ocelot, I do not need you to fucking babysit me.”

Kaz stares at the Russian cowboy from behind his aviators, clouded eyes unwavering. Ocelot stands with his arms crossed, a smirk on his damned face, red scarf and matching gloves. His spurs jangle in the office as he takes a step back from Kaz’s desk.

“Sorry, Miller,” he says in his lilting voice that is clearly not sorry. “Just thought maybe you could use a...hand.”

Kaz bristles. “Out. I am perfectly capable of this.”

Ocelot shrugs and Kaz so desperately wants to hit the grinning cat with his crutch.

“Suit yourself, Miller.”

The door closes with a deafening click, and Kazuhira counts to five before slamming his fist on his wooden desk. He once again curses his missing limbs and the struggle he has doing simple tasks that never would have taken any time at all. The papers in front of him need signing and filing, the next meeting with a client coming up in a few days and the notes from the last one still need to be sorted out, and dammit, his coffee is cold.

Ocelot always manages to put Kaz in a bad mood, but if he’s being fair, today was off to a rough start to begin with. He’d woken up with the smell of warm ocean waves and mangos, the lingering memory of soft kisses on his lips. Dreaming of her always filled him with bittersweet memories, most of which are now just bitter. Maybe if he had stepped away, had left the mess around him to go back to the states with her, the nightmare of this life would have changed. But instead he’s here, working for an unrelenting military base that once held his dreams and now holds his frustrations.

He can’t dwell on it, and Kaz knows it. He buries himself in his papers, trying to organize by date for his files, stamping approval on what needs it. The budget’s been looking pretty good lately, which is a relief, and the Boss’ missions have mostly been successes. Even bringing that assassin Quiet on board (as much as Kaz dislikes her, his hate mellowing at last to a simmer) hasn’t been all bad. Still, the lingering dreams and memories color the rest of his morning, and he hates himself for it.

When Kaz gets up to head to the helipad, his back reminds him he isn’t as young as he used to be. The familiar aches across his shoulders and down his arm make themselves known as he nearly limps down the halls and stairs, the dull throb in his head once again rising. Mother Base grows steadily it seems and he nods in passing at the saluting soldiers that flank him the rest of the way to the helipad.

The ocean breeze is salty and cold, and it only adds to his frustration until the familiar hum of the chopper landing brings him back to the present where he compartmentalizes his feelings and thoughts to focus on the news needed to bring Venom up to speed. When the older man jumps from the copter, Kaz finds the frustration mellowing enough to allow for a hint of the exhilaration that used to fill him completely in the early days of MSF.

“Mission was a success, as usual,” Kaz says with a pleased nod as they walk to his office, Snake matching his pace.

Snake grunts. “It was pretty easy. In and out, not much to it.” He lights a cigar and takes a puff. “How’s the nature reserve looking?”

They enter the office and Kaz collapses tiredly into his leather chair. He tosses his beret on his desk and closes his eyes. His fingers find their way up under his aviators and rub at his tired strained eyes. He leans back, ready for the day to be over.

“Eco looks great, the client’s still doing a good job lining our account,” Kaz tells Snake, moving his fingers from his eyes to his temples. “Things are looking pretty good overall, Boss.”

Boss taps his cigar on the ashtray Kaz keeps on the desk for him and they sit for a minute in comfortable silence. After a moment or two, he clears his throat.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something, Kaz.”

He’s using his soft voice, the one he uses when he needs full attention and when he knows care needs to be taken, so Kaz opens his eyes to look at him. Kindness lines the scared face, and he speaks with compassion once he has Kaz’s full attention.

“Have you considered the possibility of a personal assistant?”

Kaz blinks. “Are you implying I can’t do my fucking job?”

Snake shakes his head, gives half a smile.

“No, no, Kaz,” he says, taking another puff of his cigar. “I know you are more than capable. No one else would be able to run a place like this, after all.”

Kaz lets his lips quirk into a quick tired smile.

“Glad someone notices,” he says with a bark of laughter.

“I’ve been thinking, though, that it might be helpful for you to have someone to help you out,” Venom continues as Kaz sobers once more. “Someone who can help you with your workload and with your day to day things...”

He trails off and Kaz knows he’s waiting for an answer. He sighs, and some part of him knows Boss is right. The workload is heavy and while he’s gotten a lot better with his left hand, his writing is still pretty bad and slow, and his damn tie is still a nightmare in the mornings. And if he’s being honest with himself, having someone bring him coffee when his gets cold isn’t too bad of an idea…

“I’ll...consider it,” Kaz says at last.

Snake stands and stretches. “Let me know what you decide.”

Once the door’s shut again, Kaz leans back in his chair and sighs. A personal assistant. What is the world coming to. He’s always been able to take care of everything, meticulously detail oriented and efficient, lightening quick to boot. But things have changed and perhaps he should accept that already, even if it goes against every fiber of his being. Some part of him refuses that, though, and besides, who would he even want for an assistant? It’s such a personal interaction so not anyone would do.

He leans over, opens his bottom desk drawer to pull out a piece of ginger candy. His fingers brush the small envelope he keeps near the tin container, and an idea hits him. He sucks on his candy and thinks it over. They’d written letters off and on, but then that damned nuclear “inspection” happened and his world had fallen into chaos and silence.

And he’d kept the letters, kept the memories of her. Even with the line of men and women he’d taken to bed, he always imagined her at night while he tried to fill the void in his chest; even now, the scent of her floral shampoo fills him as he drifts to sleep.

He pulls out the letter, sets it on the desk; it still smells faintly of her, nearly ten years later.

It’s a wild hare, he knows, but maybe it’s worth the risk.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> As always, feedback is appreciated.  
> See you at the next chapter! :)  
> ~Birdie


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely readers!  
> Here we are with another installment of Andi's story.  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

_ Outside Lawrence, Kansas, 1984 _

“You have a nice day and thanks for supporting local businesses!”

Andi hands the woman her bag of books with a smile and watches her walk out the front door.  She waits a moment before heading over and flipping the “Open” sign to “Closed,” her plaid skirt swishing around her knees, dark hair covering her shoulders.  With a satisfied sigh, she turns and surveys her store.

Once Andi had returned stateside from her Peace Corps experience, she’d gotten a job working as a receptionist at the local dentist office.  While answering calls had been thankless and she pretty much never wanted to see another dental record again in her life, the money had been good and she saved aggressively.  When 1980 rolled around, she’d had enough saved up enough and applied for a loan.  “The Shop Around the Corner” opened in 1982 outside one of the college towns here in Kansas, and she loves every bit of it - the way the books smell, the hardwood floors she spent the extra money on to get installed, the sofas and chairs spread throughout.  She’s especially proud of her section of first editions, something that helps elevate her little store from more than just the average book chain.

She’s filing away a few novels that were left out on coffee tables when the door chimes; Andi sighs as she realizes she forgot to lock the door.  

“I’m sorry, we’re closed,” she says, turning toward the door.  

A small woman with dark hair and dark eyes looks back at her, one hand in her jean pocket, thumb tucked out.  She smiles at Andi, but something about her demeanor sends a little bit of a shiver through her.  

“Adrienne Garrison?” she asks, her voice like wind chimes with a southern lilt.

“That’s me…” Andi tells her slowly.  “Can I help you…?”

The woman laughs lightly.  “Don’t look so worried, child.  I’m not here for much.  But I think it might be best if you lock the door and have a seat.”

“Why?  I don’t mean to be rude, but we’re closed and I have things to attend to.”

The dark woman fingers a few spines on the shelf closest to her, allowing herself further into the store.

“Well, you don’t have to, but I thought you might be interested in what I have to say,” she says casually, eyeing the books.  “Especially since it has to do with Kazuhira Miller.”

Andi nearly drops the book she’s holding.  How long has it been since she’s heard that name, thought about the smug golden face behind it?  Memories of the beach and her time in Costa Rica flood her, and she swears she can nearly smell the mango trees in summer rain, the salt waves of the ocean.

“Kaz?” she whispers, head spinning.

“Mmmhmm,” the woman says without looking up from the worn volumes beneath her slender fingers.  “But if you don’t want to talk, I can leave..”

“No, no,” Andi says hastily, rushing forward to lock the door before looking at her dark haired companion.  “Please.  Have a seat.  I’ll make tea.”

The woman looks up and smiles.

“Call me Jackal.  Tea sounds lovely.”

 

*******************************

“It's nice to know he's alive,” Andi says, her hands wrapped around a coffee mug filled with quickly cooling green tea.  “He dropped out of my life pretty unceremoniously; part of me thought he might’ve died.”

When the letters stopped, she hadn’t known what to think.  She mostly thought that maybe he had finally lost interest in her, and she wouldn’t have blamed him if he did.  A small part of her mind though kept reminding her of the work he did and the business he was in, and all the ways people live and die by guns and war.

Jackal laughs lightly and takes a sip of her own tea.  “Well, I’m sure there are times he wishes he had, but that’s not my place to say.”

Andi looks at her curiously and starts to open her mouth but Jackal cuts her off with a raised hand.

“Anyway, this is pleasant, but this isn’t why I’m here,” she says, voice keeping its lightness but a business like tone forming on the edges.  “The commander is having a little...difficulty...keeping up with things right now, and the boss thinks it’s a good idea for him to have an..aide, if you will.”

Andi raises an eyebrow.  “Okay….” she says slowly, a small knot of dread forming in her stomach.  “What does this have to do with me…?”

Jackal grins, and for a moment, she looks truly devious and dangerous; she’s enjoying this and it makes Andi run cold.

“Miller asked for you by name.”

Andi spills her tea.  “I...what?”

Jackal looks back at her tea as if nothing happened.  “Mmmhmmm,” she says, slender fingers circling the mug opening.  “It really is a once in a lifetime opportunity, you know.  Not many people get to carry the...honor...of being a commanding officer’s assistant.”

“No,” Andi says without thinking.  “No!  Are you crazy?  This is my life now-” she motions to the store around them - “and I’ve worked too hard to give it up because he just comes out of the blue and asks for me to be his secretary!”

Jackal places a hand on Andi’s forearm, fingers wrapping around her wrist.  It’s supposed to be a comforting thing, she knows, but the other woman’s hands are stronger than they look, and Andi can feel the power in them.

“I know, darlin, I know,” Jackal says with a sigh.  “But I don’t think you understand.  It’s non negotiable.”

Andi blinks, ears ringing with white noise, stomach through her feet.  Non negotiable...It doesn’t take her more than a second to realize the implications of the words, the fact that this is a military operation who really doesn’t care whose blood they spill, the fact that she is leaving this store for some base somewhere whether she likes it or not.  She wants to run, to be defiant, to scream that they can’t do this, that she has her own life, and it isn’t fair-

“I understand,” she simply says instead, everything feeling too surreal for her to process completely.  “All I ask is for someone to take care of this place.  One day, I will come back here.”

Jackal smiles and shakes her head, a look on her face that Andi chooses to ignore, chooses to ignore the fact that she probably won’t end up back here.

“We’ll take care of it,” the smaller woman says.  “Now let’s get you packed up and out of here.  We’re right on schedule.”

Jackal matter of factly walks with Andi to her small apartment, ever watchful, and Andi quickly throws her most important things into cardboard boxes, fingers numb.  When the final box is sealed and she’s assured her things will arrive to base shortly after her, Andi locks her front door for the last time with shaking fingers, mouth dry.  She turns and looks at Jackal.

  
“Ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> See you at the next chapter.  
> ~Birdie


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there readers!  
> Thanks again for joining me on this journey.  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

Andi doesn’t know what she’s supposed to expect.  She doesn’t know how these things go, so she just stays quiet and goes where directed.  Jackal’s nice enough to her, even if a bit aloof at times; there’s a cautious barrier and Andi suspects that comes with the type of life the other woman lives.

That she’s about to live

The helicopter whirls and rumbles around them, and she wants to sleep, to read, to do anything but just sit, but just sitting is what she ends up doing, sitting and watching, watching the pilot, watching the landscape change from land to vast and bottomless ocean.  She watches the way the boxes of her things shift as the helicoptor adjusts positions, the way Jackal chats lightly with the few soldiers inside with them, all wearing red berets and face coverings, Jackal the only woman.  A few times, she tries to get Andi into the conversation, but she’s shut down at this point, convinced that maybe this isn’t real, and after a while, Jackal gives up.

It’s a long ride to Mother Base.  Andi holds her bag and waits it out, finally dozing to the sound of the engine.

Andi wakes up when the helicopter lands, the thud snapping her out of her light sleep, just when the faint smell of mangos and ocean salt were starting to fill her dreams.  She stands up and follows Jackal out, letting the older woman hold her hand as she jumps down, unsteady on her feet.  It’s cold and windy, even with the sunshine, and she’s glad she brought a jacket.  Her hair blows instantly into her face - when has that ever not happened, she wonders to herself, hahaha - and she tries to juggle the single box she grabbed from inside so she can straighten it out in the most dignified way as possible as she walks.  All she mangages to do is trip a little.  

She’s been on base less than a minute and she already looks like an idiot, she sighs to herself. 

 

There’s a scattering of laughter that’s abruptly cut off; she pauses long enough to tuck the long strands at last behind her ears, wishing she’d brought a hair tie, and looks up to see what’s caused the sudden silence around her.  She has to do a double take.

“Kaz…?  Is that you?”

He looks worse for wear.  He’s greying, blond hair under a beret, aviators ever in place though something seems wrong about the eyes behind them, his face scruffy around the base.  She sees the empty sleeve, watches him with his crutch.  But when he sees her, he gives a slight smile and she knows that’s him, knows that this is the man she loved on the beach so long ago.  

 

She’s still lost here, lost as to why now he would ask for her, and her heart is stuck somewhere in her throat, her eyes burning.  This isn’t fair, this isn’t how it should have been…all her memories and emotions come flooding back, the way his body felt on top of hers, the way his fingers traced her so perfectly, how sweet his kisses were and how smooth his voice whispered in her ear…

But the salty air here is too different.  It’s not the ocean she met him by.  And it hurts.  She hurts.  He stops in front of her, close enough for her to smell the light cologne he’s wearing.  She meets his gaze, her emotions mirrored on his face.

“Rhee,” he whispers as he reaches forward to touch her hair.  She lets him touch her for a moment, his glove warm and soft against her cheek, before leaning back a little.  He drops his hand back to his crutch, face unreadable.

“Please don’t,” Andi chokes out.  “I don’t think I can handle it right now.”

Kaz nods.  “Right,” he says quietly before turning to the guards flanking her, voice changing to a bark.  “Grab her boxes and take them inside.”

The soldiers salute and start to grab her boxes, taking them across the open floor and down an internal flight of stairs.  Kaz looks back at her.  “Come with me.”  Then he adds at the end, voice questioning.  “Please.”

Andi follows him down the stairs, matching his pace as they walk towards his office and towards her new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> See you at the next chapter!  
> ~Birdie


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovely readers!  
> Here we are with another installment of Andi's story.  
> Thank you for sharing her ride with me. :)  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

Kaz watches her as she scans through the first file. It's Andi's second day on base, and she's almost deathly quiet as she sits at his desk. Her slender fingers rapt on the wooden surface, a staccato that breaks the suffocating silence. Kaz clears his throat, uncomfortable. His office feels stuffier than it ever has; he thought it would be easier to reconnect with her than this.

Andi looks up, deadpan. “So I'm going to go through training, I'm to report to your office at 7am starting at the end of the week after said training, I'm in charge of notes and random tasks, and I'm not required to wear fatigues because I'm a secretary essentially. Do I understand that right?”

Kaz nods. “Yeah, that's pr-”

“What the hell is wrong with you?!”

Kaz blinks in surprise. Andi's face isn't blank anymore; rather, it's filled with anger. She slams the file back on his desk, throwing her hand up in the air.

“Seriously,” she continues, voice loud. “You just vanish off the planet for nine years then decide to track me out of the blue, taking me from my life without an option so I can come play your fucking secretary! Who the hell does that?!”

“I-”

“I finally got it, you know,” Andi says, quieter. “My store. We were just starting to make it, too. I don't even know what your people told my parents; I was supposed to go visit them over the summer and I really hope they don't think I'm dead and that I can see them again. I don't know how your policies work.”

Kaz is speechless. He silently hands her the tissues he keeps by his desk, a horrible knot of guilt forming in his gut. He feels like he's been slapped in the face. Andi takes a tissue with a small, choked sob, before looking up. Tiredness replaces the anger.

“You could have at least called first,” she says with a small, dry laugh.

What had he been thinking? Kaz goes to touch her hand, nodding when she pulls away. He deserves it. He deserves her anger. He didn't realize how selfish it was to wrap her up in this, to pull her into his world. He didn't stop to think that she had her own life.

_And you claim to love her. You asshole._

“Andi, I'm so so sorry,” Kaz tells her. “I didn't...your parents don't think you're dead. The story is your store went out of business and you got a high paying position working for a company off shore. You can contact them, you just can't tell them you're with the Diamond Dogs. I-”

“I don't want to hear the apologies. What's done is done.”

Andi stands up, wipes her face once more, and then looks at Kaz. For a moment, she looks like the shy girl from the beach who's friends had abandoned her, and it breaks him. It fades and she stands straighter.

“I'll see you before training tomorrow.”

She walks out the door. When it clicks shut, Kaz lays his head on his desk, not caring if ink on the papers gets smudged.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> See you at the next chapter. :)  
> ~Birdie


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there readers!  
> Here we go, finally getting some interaction with each other.  
> This chapter ends with a bit of a mildly graphic jerk off scene (this fic won't hit the graphic levels of my explicit one shots, I promise), so if that makes you uncomfortable, you can read until the last two paragraphs and be fine. :)  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

After the first incident, the air is clearer. Andi takes to the work easily and quickly, and being able to talk to her mom took a visible weight off her shoulders. She's gradually becoming more talkative, opening up piece by piece, even when working around Boss and Ocelot as she scrawls notes. Kaz even notices her humming from time to time.

It’s like she’s never been missing.

Kaz watches her work in his office, typing meeting notes on a typewriter from her chicken scratch on a notepad.  She’s older, but then again, so is he, but she’s so much more graceful in her late twenties than he in his late thirties.  He takes in her dark hair, pulled back with those bangs she’s always had, the curve of her spine, the width of her hips and the nimbleness of her fingers.  She blinks her enormous eyes, moving the paper from the typewriter and adding it to the stack beside her with a small sigh.  She dresses professionally, wearing skirts that make Kaz ache as he looks at her.

Andi turns and looks at him.  He can barely breathe for a moment; he’s missed her so much.  It’s all he can do to not scoop her up in his remaining arm and slide her body on his as they collapse on his office sofa and-

“Did you hear me?”

Kaz blinks.  Andi looks at him expectantly.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Andi sighs with a small smile.  “You’re working too hard again; it’s making you zone out.  The papers are done, what else can I do for you?”

Kaz swallows.  Oh, what he wants to do with her…

“That’s everything, unless you want to stay and read these reports with me…” He teasingly holds up a folder, a smirk on his face.

Andi laughs quietly.  “I think I’ll pass, thank you,” she says lightly, standing up and bringing her stack of notes to his desk.  He can see the way her hips move as she walks, the swell of her chest as she exhales deeply, stretching her arms above her head.  “You know Kaz,” she tells him almost as an afterthought, still standing at his desk.  “Unless you need those urgently tomorrow, you should really take a break.  You work too hard and it’s after 10.”

Kaz moves his aviators and rubs his eyes.  The words really are starting to blur on the pages, but this is nothing.  Another cup of coffee and he’ll be good to go for hours.  His back aches and he rolls his neck a moment, trying to loosen his shoulders.  The pain never quite goes away, the chronic aches reminding him that he’s not young like he used to be, that he’s not the same man he was years ago.

Andi shifts and he’s accutely aware of her moving to stand behind him.  She smells like flowers and everything he loves in women and in life; he can’t stop feeling her presence, drinking her in.  He takes a deep breath.  She tentatively places her hands on his shoulders.  It’s like electricity fills him and all the weariness fades.  Other than the occasional brushing of hands when papers are exchanged, Kas hasn’t had any physical contact with her.  It’s almost too much.

“Is this okay?” Andi asks quietly, starting to move her fingers.

Kaz nods, throat too dry to respond.

Andi works her fingers deep into his muscles, working out knots he didn’t even know he had, humming quietly as she goes.  He sighs under her touches; her hands feel so good on his suit jacket and he imagines how good they would feel on bare skin, how tight they would be in his hair as he spreads her legs and - 

There’s a rather obvious ache forming between his legs, and he suddenly can’t breathe, thankful for the desk covering his legs.  Andi moves her hands up his neck, rubbing her thumb at the base of his skull, her fingers moving his beret and teasing at his scalp.  Shivers run down Kaz’s spine, his whole body starting to burn, and he doesn’t know how much more he can take.  She pauses and he clears his throat.

“Thank you,” he tells her, sincerely, prompting her to remove her hands.  “I think I needed that.”

“I’m telling you,” Andi says lightly, heading towards the door.  “You work too hard.  See you in the morning.”

As soon as the door clicks shut behind her, Kaz staggers over and flips the lock before settling in on his sofa.  He rips his glove off with his teeth, shaking fingers unzipping himself and wrapping around his painful cock.  He starts pumping, his mouth remembering how she tasted in the humid night air, like everything sweet and good in his world, how she sighed into his mouth and cried into the sky as he touched and kissed every part of her, his hands playing at her, his mouth licking every part of her skin and kissing between her legs, the way his cock felt inside her tight and warm body, how she clutched at him and called his name as she came repeatedly, all by him by him by him…

He cums harder than he has in what feels like an eternity, hot and sticky on his hand, his chest heaving and her name on his lips.  He’s flushed as he cleans himself up and zips up; suddenly he’s exhausted, the kind of exhausted he hasn’t felt since MSF fell apart.  Maybe she’s right.  Maybe he does work too much.  He switches the light off and grabs his crutch, leaving his trenchcoat and beret behind.

What he doesn’t know is that in the room across from his, Andi has her fingers moving to the same memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!   
> See you at the next chapter!  
> ~Birdie


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely readers!  
> In this installment, our girl has an anxiety moment.  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

A month into base life and Andi thinks she's got it mostly down. But when she wakes up after a dream about her home in Kansas and her store, everything feels shakey. She can hear her heart in her ears, and her fingers stumble over the buttons of her blouse. She dismisses it as she heads towards the mess hall. The loud commotion of a group of soldiers only adds to the jolts in her nerves.

“What the fuck am I even doing?” Andi mumbles to herself as she pours two mugs full of the thick sludge they call coffee on base.  Jackal calls it tar in a cup and promises that when they get a few days off, they’ll go somewhere with real coffee.  

While Andi doesn’t really talk to anyone on base - they all still intimidate her when she’s by herself, even though the sniper they call Quiet has smiled briefly in passing along with a few others, plus she knows the rumors that go around and the gossip - Jackal has made a point of trying to friend her.  Andi sees her a lot with the man they call Ocelot, and she follows him into meetings.  She always makes a point to compare notes with Andi, usually over lunch or dinner, green eyes glimmering as notes turn to chatter.  Andi gets the feeling the woman started following her in a “If you know stuff we don’t, we want to know” attitude that’s becoming more like a genuine friendship.  Even if it is just to report back to Ocelot (Andi isn’t stupid after all), she finds the company of the dark haired woman a much needed piece of normal life.

Andi dumps nearly half a container of sugar and swirls of cream in one; the other stays completely black and bitter.  

_ Just like the man it’s for. _

But that’s not entirely fair.  Kaz in his office is different than Kaz walking around base.  On base, he’s curt, brief, and emotionally detached from nearly everyone, his desire for revenge and blood palpable.  But the Kaz who sits with her in his office is different - he laughs some, is more conversational, less bitter almost, and it’s starting to slowly spill into his daily rounds on base.  He looks at her sometimes when he thinks she doesn’t notice, and it’s almost the same way that the Kaz of Costa Rica would, like she’s the most beautiful thing in his world.

Andi snorts at herself.  Sure.  You can’t just pick up where you left off, and even if she still feels the same, it doesn’t even matter.  She would never admit how many times she’s cried herself to sleep here until she finally settled in.  She misses her store and she misses her family; at least she has contact with them, though they have no idea where she is. 

Andi sips her coffee and grimaces.  No matter what she does to it, it never tastes right.  She doesn’t know what else to do with it, so she sucks it up and drinks it regardless.  Girl’s gotta have caffeine after all.  Andi carefully carries both mugs down to Kaz’s office, files tucked under her arms and pen in her hair.  She juggles so she can open the door a crack with unsteady fingers and use her back to let herself in without spilling, Kaz’s voice filling the air as he uses the radio.

“No, boss, we do not need any more of those mice.  We have more than enough.  If you’re going to get more animals, we could use a few more caracals.  That’s right.”

He acknowledges Andi with a nod as she sets the file and his coffee on his desk, taking a seat across from him, her own coffee in hand.

“Mmmhmm.  Alright.  Don’t let us down.”

Kaz hangs up the radio and sighs.  He rubs his face, blond hair free of his beret and spilling out of his normally so carefully cared for style, and takes his aviators off before looking at Andi.  She’ll never get used to the way his eyes look now, clouded and still breathtaking.  She wonders if she’s supposed to be repulsed by them, but instead she just falls into the snowstorm.  

“Rough mission?” Andi asks, taking a sip of her coffee and wrinkling her nose before setting it down again.

Kaz laughs.  “You know you don’t have to drink that stuff if you don’t want to.  I keep tea on hand.”

Andi dismisses him with a hand gesture.  “Uh huh.  And how am I supposed to keep up with everyone here if I don’t at least try?  Coffee is the least of the stuff I have to learn.  I’ve got the routine down, people have stopped talking behind my back, at least where I can hear them,” she says, faintly aware of her voice growing higher and developing a slight hysterical edge, “I mean, I’m carrying a gun for christ sake and I’m kind of good at it and-”

Kaz’s hand covers her own as her voice starts to crack.  Her chest is tight, this isn’t right, this isn’t right, this isn’t right...she folds her opposite arm on the desk and lays her head in it, letting Kaz keep his hand on her other one as she cries quietly, chest heaving.

“Shhh, shhh,” Kaz’s voice quietly floats from somewhere far away.  “It’s okay, Rhee, it’s okay, you’re okay...I need you to breathe, can you breathe with me?”

Andi can hear him counting and tries to match her breaths with his voice, face burrowed in the dark.  Soon her breathing starts to even out and her eyes stop running, his hand still on hers, gripping it tightly, his thumb running over her wrist as she flips it over to grasp back.  He pauses for a moment, then continues his motions.  She sits up, leaves her hand in his, and rubs her face before reaching for the tissues on his desk.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, wiping her face and under her eyes with a tissue.  “I’m so sorry.  I didn’t mean to-”

“If anyone should be sorry, it’s me,” Kaz says quietly, and Andi looks at him through puffy eyes; his worn face carries concern and sorrow.  “I shouldn’t have brought you here, at least not without contacting you first and giving you a choice.  I just...I missed you and I didn’t know who else would come help me.  I’m so sorry I uprooted you.”

Andi gives a small choked laugh.  “You know,” she says, throat dry, no longer caring if she wears her heart on her sleeve anymore, “I kept all the letters.  I got married and got divorced within six months because I realized I couldn’t love anyone the same as…”

Kaz lifts her hand and kisses her wrist once, lips chapped and stubble scratching.  He pulls away, letting her go for the first time this morning, and turns to his drawer.  He sets a stack of envelopes in front of her.  Andi gasps.

They’re every single letter she wrote to him, worn with re-reading and time.  Her heart is in her throat, her chest filling with tentative butterflies.  This means that…

She looks at him wide eyed and holds his gaze, his eyes unreadable.  “You…” she whispers.  “You too…”

            A knock comes at the door, and a flash of irritation crosses Kaz's face.  Andi clears her throat and stands, smoothing her skirt and running fingers under her eyes to clean up her running mascara before opening the door. Venom looks at her, concern in his eyes for a moment before looking past her at Kaz, then back at her.  It’s only the second or third time she’s been in proximity of the man outside of a mission brief or meeting; the normal aloof politeness towards her vanishes as he stands there.

“Are you okay?”  

His voice is low and soothing, something she would expect from a doctor, not a war mongol.  He looks over at Kaz again, blue eye searching as he walks in the office, a careful calloused hand moving Andi with him.  

“She had an anxiety attack,” Kaz offers quietly.  “She’s alright, John.”

Venom nods, then searches Andi’s face.  Part of her wonders why exactly he’s taking the time.  He’s not a doctor, after all, and she barely knows him; she’s too tired to dwell on it.  After a moment, he moves to the side to let her pass.

“Get some air,” he says quietly, voice deep.  “If you feel it come back, go to the Medical Platform and tell them what’s going on.  They’ll probably give you alprazolam for when they show up.”

Andi nods slowly, glances at Kaz who looks a little puzzled, then walks out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, lovelies!  
> See you at the next chapter!  
> ~Birdie


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!  
> Thanks again for joining us on this adventure. :)  
> Here we have some story placement and also a chapter ending that I'm pretty pleased with.  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

Andi types away at her typewriter.  Kaz stares at the file in front of him, the clack of the keys filling the silence of the office with comforting background noise.  The words are starting blur and he can feel the tension between his eyes start to grow.  He reaches over to the side desk drawer and pulls out a bottle of pain pills, swallowing two dry, faintly aware of the pause on the typewriter for half a moment.  

He looks across the room; the dark haired woman works as if nothing’s happened, both just now and earlier this week.  Kaz resumes looking at his files.

So she kept the letters too.  That’s something he didn’t expect at all, and the knowledge of it makes him light headed.  Maybe it isn’t too late.  She didn’t pull away when he touched her, didn’t turn away when he called her Rhee.  Maybe he still has a chance to piece together what’s left of...whatever this is.  The typing goes on.

A rap at the door followed by Ocelot popping his head in breaks the rhythm.  He nods at Andi once with a small smile before striding on long legs to Kaz’s desk.

“Miller,” he says in that lilting voice of his.  

“Are you here to ruin my day by bringing more reports?” Kaz asks, not bothering to fully look up from what he’s doing.  “I swear, Ocelot, if you bring me one more piece of paper about the incident last week with the kitchen staff and spoons, I will-”

“Kaz.”

Ocelot never uses his first name. 

Kaz looks up.  Ocelot’s face is lined with weariness and something sharp glints in his grey eyes.  He waits until he’s got the blond’s full attention.  The typing in the background has completely stopped, the silence deafening for a heartbeat that lasts for an eternity.

“Intel got some information I thought you might need.”  The Russian’s voice is low as he leans closer to Kaz.  “There are some weird things going on at the quarantine platform.  We don’t know what exactly, but...we may be dealing with something pretty soon.  We don’t know if it has to do with the vocal cord parasites yet or if it’s just a simple case of bad information, but I thought you would want to know.”

The way he looks at Kaz sends shivers down his spine.  “But we’ve neutralized the parasites,” Kaz whispers, more to himself than anything.  “So it can’t be...unless…”

The only person who could possibly have any involvement with whatever might be going on is Emmerich, and Kaz doesn’t trust the man for shit.  Thinking about the doctor leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

Ocelot stands up and starts to make his way to the door.  “Regardless of what it is, Miller, I’ll keep you posted.”  

He smiles and tips his head at Andi once more before leaving.

As soon as the door shuts, Andi’s moving to his desk.  She settles down in front of it, hands folded on the wooden surface.

“Parasites?” she asks him, raising her eyebrows.

Kaz sighs.  “Yeah,” he tells her.  “It happened before you came on base.  It was taken care of until potentially now…”

Andi stares at him.  “And you didn’t think it might have been important for me to know?  Cause these things don’t exactly happen all the time where I’m from.”

Kaz moves a file.  “I didn’t want to give you any more to worry about than you already have.  Besides, there was no reason for you to know.”

“Uh huh.”  Andi’s stare is incredulous.  “Well, it sounds like maybe I should know now, so you wanna fill me in?”

Kaz runs down the incident with the vocal cord parasites as professionally and quickly as he can, not wanting to dwell on it and not wanting her to either.  After all, what’s done is done and it doesn’t warrant concern, at least not now.  When he’s done, Andi just nods. 

“Okay.”

“That’s it?” This time, it’s Kaz’s turn to be incredulous.  

Andi shrugs.  “At the rate of weird things on this base, I’m beginning to think nothing surprises me.  Besides, it’s taken care of.  Honestly, Kaz, I’m almost 30, I think I can handle information pretty well.  So if you want this whole dynamic to work, maybe you should actually share it.”

She stands up and Kaz looks at her, really looks at her.  The time on Mother Base has changed her some, and he realizes with a moment of startling clarity that she’s not the young girl he knew anymore.  She’s a woman, and she isn’t going to break like he feared she might once have.  People change, people grow.  He of all people knows that.  He nods at her.

“You’re right,” Kaz concedes with a sigh.  “I’ll work on that.”

Andi smiles and squeezes his hand for a brief moment before heading back to her small desk.  “Thank you.”

 

**********************************

 

That night, Kaz makes his way to the main platform.  It’s clear and crisp outside, and he needs the air to clear his mind.  Exhaustion starts creeping in as he leans on the railing, watching the waves.  Ocelot’s information makes him nauseous.  They just got done dealing with this sort of thing; isn’t it time they get a break?  It’s like one thing after another just keeps popping up, and it makes his head spin.

“The stars are truly magnificent out here.”

Kaz looks up from his brooding.  Andi smiles at him as she approaches, leaning on the rail next to him.  Here in the dark, she looks so much younger than in his office, her face open and hair blowing.  He moves down a little, wanting so badly to touch her, his arm brushing against hers.  She tilts her head to the side.

“It’s a lot colder here than I expected,” she tells him quietly.  “I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to it.”

Kaz laughs dryly.  “Why do you think I always wear the coat?  It’s even colder without two limbs.”

Andi frowns, processing as Kaz turns back to the water.  It’s silent as he waits, the only sound coming from the waves against the concrete foundation below them.  A breeze dances by, blowing his coat a little.

“Does it hurt?” she asks at last, softly.

Kaz looks at her.  Normally he gets defensive about his body, tired of the pitying stares and careful avoidances.  But when he looks in her face, he sees nothing but concern.

“Sometimes,” he tells her.  “Sometimes I can still feel them.  They’re called phantom pains; the part is gone but the body and mind remember.  It’s been quite an adjustment.  My handwriting still isn’t the same, and while I’m faster at some things, it still takes me a while with others.”

“I’m so sorry,” Andi tells him, not with pity but with sincerity, her face genuinely sorry..

A moment passes.

“Please don’t take this wrong,” Andi says slowly.  “But...Big Boss has that mechanical prosthetic.  Do they...do you…”

Kaz laughs as she tries to find the words.  “They offered, if that’s what you’re asking,” he says, sighing.  “But I turned it down.  The pains help me remember why I’m doing all of this.  It keeps it fresh in my mind so I won’t back down.”

“You’re the most stubborn man I’ve ever met, Kazuhira Miller.”

He’s aware of how close they are, of how Andi’s turned her whole body to face him and he’s mirrored her without realizing it.  She tilts her face up, and he realizes that this is it.  It’s now or never, and he dips down to capture her lips in his.  She’s soft like he remembers, her lip balm on his tongue.  She sighs into him, and he takes it as encouragement, kissing her again and again as her hands grab the lapels of his coat.  He’s missed this, nine years of waiting all rolled into this moment.  He could stand here all night, wrapping his arm around her waist to pull her flush against him.

“Oh there you are, Andi!”

They break apart, Andi’s face flushed, both of them breathless.  Jackal stands with her hand on her hip, an innocent smile on her face.  Kaz narrows his eyes at her.  Andi moves away from him as the other woman walks closer.

“I’ve been looking for you,” Jackal chimes in her southern lilt.  “I need to discuss some stuff with you, if you don’t mind.”

Andi looks at Kaz for a moment with a helpless expression as Jackal wraps an arm around her and starts walking away.  The smaller woman looks over her shoulder with a smirk.  He knew it, there was nothing to discuss.  In that moment, he’s never hated the intel department more in his life.  

The next time he sees that damn cat, he’s going to strangle him with that stupid red scarf of his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, lovelies!  
> See you at the next chapter!  
> ~Birdie


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely readers!  
> Here we are with another installment of our story.  
> Thank you for joining me on this journey. :)  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

“And they also have the best scones, so we’ll definitely have to do that.”

Andi sits at a table in the mess hall across from Jackal, idly pushing her food around with a spoon, making mountains and valleys in her mashed potatoes.  The food in the mess hall isn’t too bad overall, but some days she really misses her mom’s pot roast.  Jackal keeps talking excitedly about what they should do with their few days of shore leave coming up.

“Plus, since we’ll have time, we should go see the ocean.”

Andi snorts.  “We live in the middle of the ocean.  I see it every time I walk outside.”

And it’s cold, and it’s salty.  

But it was pretty nice to kiss by.

The thought makes Andi flush a little.  She’d been annoyed initially early in the day when she found out Kaz had kept the parasite thing from her - could be a little important, she thinks, to know what exactly what kind of stuff goes on around this place - but once she was sure he understood why she felt the way she did, it passed.  She’d gone up to get air and look at the stars when she saw him, and, well.

She’d missed him.  And he’d missed her.  His kisses were different than she remembered, this time his face scruffy and his lips chapped, desperate against her as they clung to each other.  It had been so long since anyone had touched her and she couldn’t get enough of the way his breath mingled with hers and -

“Hello, earth to Andi.”

Jackal snaps her fingers in front of Andi’s face, startling her.  Andi blinks a few times.  Jackal smirks at her, leaning back in her seat.

“You were a million miles away for a minute, darlin’,” she says lightly.  “And I know exactly where exactly that million was.”

Andi groans and puts her face in her hands.  She peeks at Jackal through her fingers.  “You had really bad timing last night, you know that?”

Jackal shrugs.  “It gives you something to go back to later.”

“Are you kidding me right now,” Andi mutters.  “That’s what you have to say about it?” 

“Look, Andi,” Jackal says, leaning in.  “We live on a military base.  There are hazards that can happen all the time.  If a rival group decides to attack our base, we could die in the process.  If someone infiltrates that shouldn’t, we could face trouble from the inside that might not end well.  Life is short, I know it’s a cliche, but it is.  You have to make the most of it.  And who knows,” she adds lightly, “if you had kept it up, you could have gotten into some real trouble out there.  Maybe get a room next time.  You never know who’s watching.”

Andi stares at her.  “What are you, my mom now?”

Jackal suddenly finds her coffee to be incredibly interesting.  Andi goes back to playing with her mashed potatoes, thinking.  She hadn’t thought about eyes watching.  Kaz may be the Commander, but that doesn’t stop the rumor mill.  Soldiers may not talk ill about him out of fear or respect, but there’s nothing stopping them from openly talking about her.  Maybe Jackal had saved her some grief.  

But things that can go wrong…the thought had crossed her mind a time or two, but she had never really realized what exactly could happen on base.  She knows there’s a reason she can shoot and load a gun.  Some part of her kept that compartmentalized away though because she didn’t want to acknowledge it.  Acknowledging it means acknowledging that things are different from the Peace Corps days.  Here...it’s everyone out for themselves and living day to day.  

Life is short, after all.  

“So how long until we go on leave again?” Andi asks, switching gears.

“A few weeks,” Jackal tells her.  “But we need to start planning now so we don’t waste it.  You know, there’s an art museum that’s really good out there, plus since we’re going to be out, we could get some stuff that isn’t at commissary.”

She grins at Andi.  Andi opens her mouth to ask Jackal what exactly she meant when heavy footfalls distract her.

 A young man sprints to their table, breathless.  She and Jackal share a glance before looking back at him.  He’s wearing a red beret, and the way Jackal nods at him tells Andi that he’s part of intel.  He doesn’t say a word of greeting, just leans over and whispers hurriedly into Jackal’s ear.  Andi watches as her face transforms from calm and serene to anger.  She nods once, dismissing the man, then stands abruptly.

“You need to go find Miller,” she tells Andi, her voice filled with steel.  “Now.”

“Okay…” Andi says uncertainly, standing.  “Can you tell me-”

“No.  Go.”

Fear drops in Andi’s stomach.  She’s never seen Jackal lose her calm demeanor before.  It’s terrifying and she suspects this is just the tip of it.  She hurries to Kaz’s office.  

Something bad, like Jackal said earlier, is happening on base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> See you at the next chapter!  
> ~Birdie


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there lovely readers!  
> Here we are with another chapter, this one involving mission 43.  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

“That fucking bastard!”

Kaz slams his fist on his desk, startling Andi quite visibly, before grabbing his crutch and making his way to the door.  He motions to her and she's at his side in a heartbeat, face pale as they walk quickly to the main platform.

The call had come in on the radio not 15 minutes before. Parasites, English vocal parasite mutation, on the quarantine platform. No one knows how many were exposed, no one knows how it happened.  The only saving light is that it happened at quarantine and not elsewhere on base; at least it can be contained. Andi had listened to Kaz's end of the conversation raptly, the color slowly draining from her face. He wanted to reassure her, but he couldn't. Especially not with the anger now filling him.

Emmerich. That bastard.  There may be no evidence yet, but Kaz can smell the man all over it.  He knew it was a mistake trusting him even the small amount they did.  It’s infuriating.  When all's said and done, Kaz vows, someone will pay.

They make it to the main platform in time to see Snake suited up about to leave. Kaz knows exactly what the man is going to do, and the anger turns to near desperation. He leaves Andi behind and hobbles forward as fast as he can. He's lost the man once already; he can't stand the thought of losing his best friend again.

“Boss!”

Snake turns. Kaz drops his crutch and grabs his arm.

“What are you doing? You don't have to do this! We don't know what's going on in there!”

Please don't do this, Kaz pleads silently.  Please don’t leave again. 

“Kaz,” Snake tells him, nothing but understanding in his face. “That's exactly why I have to do this. We can't risk others getting hurt. Trust me.”

He bends to grab the crutch on the ground, Kaz moving his hand to his back to keep balance. Gloved palms press the handle back into his palm. The man wears a look of quiet strength and determination; Kaz resigns himself.

“Fine,” he tells Snake. “Just...be careful, would you?”

Snake claps him on the shoulder before heading to the helicopter.

“I always am.”

Kaz turns, stewing for a moment in worry and frustration. If he had his body the way it was, he'd be right alongside the man, just like old times. The way it used to be; the way it should be. He starts back to his office so he can be on the other end of the radio. Once at the door, he stops and looks at Andi.

“This is going to get very, very ugly,” Kaz tells her in a low rough voice, moving a hand to her arm, holding her gaze.  He knows she doesn’t want him shielding her, but he can’t help it.  He has to try.  “People are going to die. We're going to have copies of the tapes, but I need you here to transcribe them when it's over. You don't have to stay here during it though.  You don’t need to hear it while it’s happening.  We don’t know what might go on.”

He watches as Andi's face changes, the fear replaced slowly with determination. The professional mask slips back on as she compartmentalizes the only way she knows how. She swallows hard before answering, voice flat but unwavering.

“I am not going anywhere. I'm going to have to listen to it anyway when it's over.”

Kaz nods once, steeling himself for them both.

 

**********************************

 

The next two hours are a complete nightmare. Kaz gives directions to Snake, walks him through the mission. Andi listens to the one sided conversation, her face ghostly pale, flinching every once in awhile when a scream or shot rings loudly beyond the headset. Kaz barks his orders to Snake, throat rough and stinging, the anger and desperation still raging in him.

At last, it's over. 

Kaz collapses back in his chair, exhausted. So many good men and women, lost. He reaches up to run his hand over his face, his aviators shaking as he takes them off. He wipes the stinging wet from his eyes. A muffled sob carries across the room. He runs his hand down his face once more before sliding aviators back in place and opening his eyes.

Andi's got both hands on her mouth, shaking quietly with silent tears running down her face. Kaz realizes that she's never experienced this before. Andi's seen the results of war - that's why she joined the Peace Corps all those years ago - but she's never been in the thick of it. Once more, he's hit with the realization that her being here is on him, and it eats him for a moment. 

Kaz walks over to her and wraps his arm around her shoulders, helping her stand and guiding her to the door. She lets him guide her, silent and still shaking as he wordlessly takes her to his room. He sits her on the bed and pulls her into his lap.

“I told you it would get ugly, and I am so sorry. I should have made you leave. Someone else can transcribe the tapes,” he whispers in the top of her head, placing a kiss in her hair.

“So many people, Kaz,” Andi sobs quietly, leaning into him, face still in hands. “So many people.”

Kaz keeps his arm around her, keeps her close to his chest. “I know,” he murmurs. “I know.”

He doesn't know how long they stay like that, Andi shaking as he presses small kisses in her hair, but eventually her tears stop and she falls asleep on his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! :)  
> Can you believe we're almost done?   
> Only four more chapters left.  
> See you at the next one.  
> ~Birdie


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, lovely readers!  
> We're getting to the wire with Andi's story arc, and I'm so glad you're still with me on this journey. :)  
> This chapter involves some of the things after the quarantine outbreak. I kind of glossed over the details of them because I figure everyone at this point is familiar with the scenes at hand.  
> This chapter also is full of a series of mini scenes, each about a paragraph or so; it doesn't feel like a normal chapter, but it was the only way I could see fit to write it.  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

Kaz stands with Boss, watching the flames.  After the mission in quarantine, it had been decided that in order to keep the mutation from spreading, cremation was the only option.  The caskets burn brightly, smoke rising, and Kaz sighs heavily.  Boss stands quietly next to him, the weight of what he had to do lingering in his shoulders.

“You did the right thing,” Kaz says at last, separating the logical from the emotional.  It’s what he’s good at, after all; he wouldn’t have made it this far if he had let the two merge in times of crisis.  “You helped them die with dignity.  We’ll bury them at sea, with a proper send off.”

Snake nods.  “You’re right,” he agrees before falling back into deep silence.

Kaz grips his arm for a moment before walking off, ash and bile at the back of his throat.

 

************************************

 

“You murdered them!” Huey yells, the only one to say a word in the reverent silence.  “They trusted you and you turned them to ash!  This is all your fault!”

Kaz watches as Snake falters for a moment before resuming his actions.  He’s ready to take Huey himself, to hit the man with his crutch and push him off base to drown in the waters; he’s already motioning to his men to escort the doctor off when there’s a loud echoing slap.  Kaz looks over to see Andi, face red and chest heaving, her hand open and raised.  Huey’s looking at her in disbelief, stunned, a red spot on his face from where she’s hit him.  

She looks just as stunned.  

Kaz starts to move towards her.  He doesn’t have a chance to say a word or get close as Jackal weaves through the soldiers to grab the now shaking younger woman by the shoulders and walk her quickly off the platform.  Her green eyes find Kaz’s cloudy ones through his aviators, a moment of wordless communication.  Finish here without stalling.  Then come find her.

Kaz turns and goes back to Snake’s side to finish what they started.

 

***********************

 

Andi’s sitting on her bed, pillow held tight to her chest, when Kaz finds her.  She looks up at him, her face pained and tear streaked.  He closes the door behind him and sits on the bed next to her.  There’s a bottle of pills on her night side table, and he picks it up to examine it.

“I did what Boss said.  I went to the Medical Platform,” Andi offers weakly.  “He was right.  They gave me alazopram.  No idea how he knew that, but I’m not questioning it.  It keeps the nightmares away.”

Kaz nods and sets the bottle down before running his hand through her hair.  She sighs.

“I shouldn’t have hit him.”

Kaz lets out a bark of laughter.  “Honestly, Rhee, you did what all of us were thinking.  Someone needed to shut him up.  Hell, I was about to move in with my crutch if you didn’t get there first.”

Andi shrugs as Kaz moves his hand to cup her face.  “I still shouldn’t have.  I’m so tired, Kaz,” she tells him, leaning into his touch instead of pulling away.  “Life really is short, isn’t it.”

“It really is,” Kaz whispers.

The silence in the room changes as they sit there, Kaz running his thumb along her lower lip.  Here he is, his second chance with this young woman, and within three months of having her in his world, this happens.  It’s too close to him, too close to her.  If things had changed in the slightest, she could have been lost.  He can’t risk that again.  He won’t.

Kaz closes the distance between them, taking Andi’s lips into his once more.  This time it’s different though.  This time, it’s hungry and desperate and greedy as they come together in the dark of her room.  This is different too, different from the time he covered her body with his own under deep rainforest foliage.  She straddles him, his hand on her her hip and her name on his lips, holding her close and tight as if she would vanish if he lets go.  At last, panting, they collapse together on her small bed, his arm tight around her.  

As she sleeps on his chest, exhausted, Kaz finds himself wondering what he would do if she were ever taken from him.  It hits him in the chest like a hammer, and he realizes how fucked he truly is.

************************

When Huey’s trial comes to pass, Andi stays in his office, not wanting to see.  He’s glad she misses it, glad she doesn’t see the raging mob around him and the anger Kaz unleashes.  She’s seen enough ugliness, he thinks to himself.  She doesn’t need to see this.  But when the sentence gets handed down to let the traitor go free, Kaz is beside himself.  Andi doesn’t miss a beat when he storms into his office, angry tears in his eyes.  She doesn’t waiver but rather guides him to his sofa without hesitation, her hand in his hair as he lays his head in her lap, a position no one else will ever see him in.

She hums a little under her breath until at last he calms down enough to settle.  He’s reminded again that he doesn’t want a world without her; no one else in this godforsaken sea can balance him like she does.  He thinks he might have gone insane at this point if it weren’t for her.

He truly needs her.

It terrifies him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading lovelies!  
> See you at the next chapter!  
> ~Birdie


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely readers! :)  
> Only one chapter left after this!  
> I hope you've been enjoying this as much as I have.  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

The week following Huey’s trial has been a mess.  Andi can still feel Kaz’s anger in the office, simmering beneath the surface now instead of full blown in everyone’s face.  She doesn’t blame him - there’s a small part of her that wishes it had been handled differently.  But Snake had done what he thought was right, and besides, a life for a life (or several in this case) doesn’t make anything better.

“God I get so sick of this,” Kaz mutters from his desk.  He holds up a folder when Andi looks over.  “This is the third incident of brawling on deck in as many days.  Between this and the complaints from the kitchen about supplies and whatever else may come up, I am exhausted.”

He looks it too as he shifts his aviators, lines under his eyes visible.  Andi gets up quietly and moves behind him, her fingers working his neck and shoulders.  It’s become almost routine at this point, the strain they both feel taking it’s toll.  She places a soft kiss on the nape of his neck as he relaxes into her.  There’s a sharp rap on the door and she sighs as it opens, a familiar jangle of spurs filling the office.  Andi moves back to her desk as Ocelot hands a thick envelope to Kaz, leaning over to whisper something in his ear.  Kaz nods once and Ocelot leaves.  It must be something important, Andi figures; the lack of banter fills her with a little concern.

Kaz opens the envelope and pulls out two cassette tapes.  He raises an eyebrow at them, the pops one in his player, headphones on.  Andi goes back to organizing the latest information from the last client meeting when suddenly Kaz’s voice stops her.

“I need you to leave,” he says abruptly.  “Now.”

When she looks over at him, his face is a stony mask.  Andi goes to ask what’s going on and if he’s okay, but he cuts her off with a hand before she even has time to fully open her mouth.

“Please.”

She nods.  Whatever it is, it’s serious, and as curious as she is, she leaves without a word.  The last thing she sees as she closes the door is Kaz with his headphones on, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, his face pale.

 

******************************************

 

“And I don’t know what’s happened or what I can do or why he won’t talk to me.”

Andi sits with Jackal in the mess hall, fingers threading together before unthreading again, repeatedly.  It’s been three days since she’s had contact with Kaz.  He’s continuing as if nothing has happened, but the clench of his jaw when she’s seen him in passing tells her otherwise.  He won’t let her in his office - won’t let anyone in - and he’s unceremoniously told her briefly that he no longer needs her services for a while, professional mask back in place for the first time since the services for the quarantine soldiers.  She doesn’t know what to do.  It’s like when he dropped off the map the first time and it worries her.

Jackal reaches across the table and places hands on Andi’s, stopping her movements.  “Look,” she breathes.  She looks around intently before leaning in closer.  “Those tapes were nothing to joke with.  I imagine Miller has more to swallow than anyone else after listening to them.  I wouldn’t expect to see him resurface for a while.  He’s keeping up appearances for the soldiers around here, but…”

“What are you even talking about?” Andi whispers, Jackal’s nervous energy fueling her own.  “What was on those tapes that was so important?”

“Not here,” Jackal breathes, not looking at her but rather around the room.  “Come on.”

She grabs Andi’s hand and all but drags the younger woman to her room.  The door clicks shut with a deafening echo.  Jackal looks around once more before sitting.

“I’ll tell you everything,” she says quietly.  “But if you breathe this to a soul, your blood is not on my hands.”

 

**********************************

 

“Please let me in, I know you’re in there,” Andi pleads, her fist thudding against the metal door in front of her.

Jackal, true to her word, had told her everything.  And the truth was more than she could handle, making her physically ill most of the night.  She imagined how Kaz felt, how the sting of betrayal must have washed through him, the pain piercing what was left of him.  She’d cried until she felt like she couldn’t cry anymore, unable to do anything else but wait.  But it wasn’t just him she cried for.  And that’s why she’s here at one in the morning, pounding like a mad woman on the door for someone no one would ever dare bother.

The door opens and a rather tired looking Venom Snake stands before her, his hair tangled and his beard unkempt.  He looks at her, at her puffy eyes, and his face quickly turns from grumpy to concerned.  Before he can say a word, Andi throws herself at him, wrapping arms around him tightly.  He doesn’t do anything but stand there, more baffled than anything.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers, her eyes watering again even though she was sure she had nothing left.  “I know the truth and I am so sorry.  So sorry.”

Venom lets out a sigh and awkwardly hugs her back.

“Maybe not in the doorway,” he says simply, his voice unwavering.  

He ushers her inside and shuts the door behind them.  A voice in Andi’s head tells her that coming here was stupid, that this man could destroy her in an instant for her interruption and potential disrespect.  She doesn’t care.  She doesn’t care about any protocol on this stupid base anymore.  She sinks into a chair across from his cot.

“How did you find out?” Venom asks as he sits on the edge of his bed.  He sounds tired but unsurprised.  “I don’t imagine Kaz told you.”

Andi shakes her head.  “Doesn’t matter,” she says, wiping her face on her sleeve.  “But I know now and I am so sorry.”

“So is that why you woke me up at such an ungodly hour?”

Andi nods.  

Venom sighs.  “I’m not surprised.  I was actually expecting this to come sooner rather than later.”

“I don’t understand,” Andi chokes out.  “I wondered why you knew so much about the medical side of things, about the pills Kaz takes for his head and the stuff they gave me and...why do you still do it?  Why do you go along with this?  It isn’t fair!”

Venom smiles kindly at her.  “You didn’t know the Boss,” he tells her gently.  “You didn’t see MSF and how things were run.  The man...the man could lead an army to hell and we would go willingly.  He was...he was the best leader I ever knew.”

“And you still stand by that??”

Venom nods.  “You may not understand it.  But as unfair as it is, it’s for the good of everyone here.  And I refuse to let another base fall while he makes his Outer Heaven.”

Andi looks at him incredulous.  She opens her mouth to ask more questions, to protest, but the shimmer in his blue eye starting to spill over onto his scarred face stops her.  She blinks hard against the lump in her throat that she’s already getting used to.  Venom stands up.

“I think you should go to bed, Miss Garrison,” he tells her, voice gentle even as it cracks.  

Andi stands up and follows him to the door, wringing her hands.  She’s about to leave when he wraps strong arms around her.  She feels the wet in her hair as Venom holds her tight for a moment.

“Thank you,” he whispers before sending her on her way.

 

*****************************

 

Andi’s just about lost her mind.  She’s sure of it.  It’s been a week since everything fell apart.  She can’t eat, the food tasting like nothing, and when she sleeps, the nightmares are all the same.  The worst part is the waiting, she decides.  It’s always the waiting.

The familiar sound of a crutch hitting the metal of her door pulls her out of her thoughts.   She pulls it open to see Kaz.  His stubble is worse than usual, his eyes tired behind his aviators.  He doesn’t say a word but rather pushes past her to collapse on her bed.  Andi clicks the door shut.

“Oh thank god you-”

“I’m leaving.”

The words shatter the air, filled with exhaustion and bitterness.  Andi blinks.  Kaz lays back on her bed, face to the ceiling, not looking at her, body tense.

“I’m leaving,” he repeats.  “I can’t stay here.  Not with the lies.  Not with the...betrayal.”

Andi moves to sit next to him.  “Where….where are you going to go?”

“Back to the states,” he says simply.  “The green berets always need leaders, someone to train recruits.  Shouldn’t be hard to get a job with all my experience.”

A knot grows in Andi’s chest.  This is it.  He’s leaving, just like last time.  So what happens to her, she wonders.  Does she just go back to Kansas like nothing happened?  The thought of it leaves an odd copper taste in her mouth as she stares at her knees.  She’s almost thirty.  At what point does she get to stop picking up pieces?

A gloved hand covers hers, and she looks up to see Kaz looking at her, face serious.

“I was wondering,” he says carefully.  “If you would come with me.  I thought I’d ask this time, rather than just assume.  I understand if you don’t want to, but-”

“Of course I’ll come with you,” Andi says, the knot untying as quickly as it formed.  She thinks of what Venom said, of following Boss into hell, and she realizes that the same goes for her.  She’d follow this broken man to hell if it meant staying by his side.  “Always.  Who else is going to do all your memos.”

Kaz snorts, then smiles at her, a small smile but a sincere one.

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading lovelies!  
> See you at the end.  
> ~Birdie


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There really is no ending when two people want the same thing." ~ Shannon Alder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies!  
> Wow.  
> We've made it.  
> Thank you so much for reading along with me. :)  
> Without further preamble, let's finish Andi's tale.  
> Enjoy!  
> ~Birdie

“Thank you for dinner, Mrs. Miller.”

Andi laughs, a small cough mingling at the end, and passes a bowl of potatoes to the dark haired man at the table.  “Andi is just fine, Dave.  I told you that last time.  You don’t have to be so formal here.  And really, you should thank Kaz; he saved the food from burning.”

She looks at Kaz with a playful smile and he grins back.  When Andi had learned of David, she immediately insisted on opening their home to him.  At first Kaz had argued.  After all, work and home don’t mix.  But she insisted, so now his prodigy is over about once a week to eat something different than mess hall food.

After leaving Diamond Dogs, the two of them had gone to the states, where he had successfully worked as a trainer with the Green Berets before moving on to FOXHOUND.  He discovered David, one of Boss’ clones; initially he took David under his guidance out of anger before affection for the kid set in.  John’s betrayal still stings in his throat, and he will never stop hating the man.  When they’re training, Kaz works David to the bone, flames fueling him on, earning him the title of Hellmaster Miller.  He isn’t sure the anger will ever go away, and he isn’t sure that he wants it to.

But here, when he comes home to Andi, it’s like Kaz can breathe again. The boiling heat in his body drops to a simmer and he can let his guard down.  They spend nights on the couch, her in his lap, reading or watching TV, being together in a world that doesn’t require anything but that.  He’d finally caved and gotten a prosthetic arm and leg, and with a little practice, he’s mastered his guitar again, playing for her as she sings softly along.  She’s still lovely as ever to him, and he makes a point of showing her as often as he can.

“Now David,” Kaz says sternly.  “Tomorrow is testing.  Don’t think that just because you’re eating my wife’s meatloaf that I’m going to go easy on you.”

David looks at him with wide eyes.  “Yes sir.”

Andi shakes her head.  “Not at the table, boys.”

Kaz and David look at each other before responding in unison.

“Yes ma’am.”

Andi just laughs.  Another cough makes itself known and she covers her mouth.  She’s had a lingering cold for a while, and the cough’s been getting worse. Kaz is starting to worry a little, though she insists it’s fine.  At some point he’s going to make her go to the doctor, memories of his mother sick in bed nagging at him.  He pushes it to the back of his mind as dinner progresses, trying to enjoy the moment at hand.

Once plates are cleaned and Dave’s back on his way back to his building, Kaz wraps arms around Andi from behind, planting a kiss on the top of her head.  She sighs happily and he holds her close, closing his eyes to savor the moment.  It isn’t the warm beach and maybe they don’t have the same stars, but she’s in his arms for good this time.

Kaz wouldn’t have it any other way.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and joining me through this journey.  
> See you at the next fic, whatever it may be.  
> ~Birdie

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, my loves.  
> See you at the next chapter!
> 
> ~Birdie


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